Say byebye to my virgin hair.

Just dye my hair!
Bye to my virgin hair.
I dye red but it comes up look like natural! I love it.
Satisfied with my hair colour!

Gonna go cut

Or either curl it on Sunday. Wheee~~~~

WOW finally SPM finished!!!!

Hohoho, my last day

 Of wearing this uniform ;)

Spm 2012?

SPM2012? 

Yeah I'm taking spm this year, but it seem time flies too fast. I just left two subjects to go which is

BIOLOGY and CHEMISTRY. 

By Tuesday on 27/11/2012 I'll finish this SPM examination so called, most important examination in your life. 

Will I feel nervous during the exam?

Yeah, definitely but I know it won't make me perform well thus I won't be quite nervous about it.

Take it as it goes. But anyway this two days I'm gonna make full use of it to study my biology and chemistry. Hope I'll score A+ in this both subjects as it is an essential subject to be a doctor. ;)

TIME FLIES~ SPM

Can you imagined that i just finish my MODERN MATHS paper?

OHgosh.. Time flies~

I finished 4 subjects out of 9 subjects! 

Imagine that! how fast time flies just like how the sand passes through your fingers.

5 subjects more to go!

Hopefully i can get all A+ for my SPM as i aiming it to continue my studies.

I'm not from a very wealthy family that my parents can support me to go overseas or to finish my studies in medicine field cause it costs a lot of money!

That is why im aiming for all A+ so that i can get a scholarships to make my dream come true to be a REAL DOCTOR.

What am i going to do for my own future is :

--> first of all, i wish i can a very good result for my SPM

--> Secondly, i'll try my best to continue my studies in medic..

---> thirdly, I want be a doctor.

--> I wish i can play my part in the society to help those who are in need.

---> To do a lot mission trips is my dream =D

Looking at these aims i don't know that Im so kind. Or maybe i dont even know that this is myself.

Anyway, i wish GOD will always be with me, guide me and walk with me in my life.

Being absent for many days ( 9days) just to concentrate myself to study at home for SPM, i seldom think about her anymore as i know no matter how much i care, how much i did , she'll nvr show it up but indeed i know she did care! im very glad that she did sms to my fren to wish me good luck for the SPM! Though she did not sms me herself but as long as she meant it then its okay =D

Seeing her in the school for 4 days in the morning at the canteen during the SPM days, i felt quite happy because in future, never will I as a student , sitting at the canteen early in the morning seeing her passing by or eating in the canteen. I dont know why there is a bond between me and this teacher though she is just a teacher to me. IT seems to be a bond that will never break but indeed it is not a close bonding between us anymore. SO yeah. 

As you know, time flies, memory fades , for sure the bond between every human is not that close anymore. 

Just accept how life is. How it goes. We cant change anything but we can change ourself in the situations.

NO matter what happen in future, NEVER WILL I LOSE MY CONFIDENT because CONFIDENT is what you going to be outstanding between others in future. I TRUST THAT I'll did the aims that i had set for myself.

------->>> Let's go through the SPM with confident and make the result the best that you can <<<-----

I'll make it!

Trust?

Was trust really hard to build up?
Why will you trust someone that has just knew than someone who you have known for so long?
I'm being blacken myself in order to tell you the truth no matter how much you will hate me as long you don't been cheated again.
Why must you trust flowery words than a true word that hurt you but it gives life's lessons to you.
Why?
Telling you the truth that I know, will make you hate me but I choose it not because I don't cherish this relationship but because I care about you.
Do you know that?
:(

Happy birthday sis

Wow, time flies really fast. Today is my sister birthday.
Happy birthday sis.

Here is a pic I took with my sis. ;) wad a nice pic.
Today I even go to Ghotel with Szeying,szewei, Elaine, Mei fong, sze ting and Pn.loke.
We go for buffet lunch which is quite good and we won a lucky draw.
All of us decided to give the lucky draw to Pn.loke and her husband. ;)

Here is my picture of my sweet seventeen wearing shirt that sze lyn gave me on my birthday.

Haha. How was it? Nice? Beautiful? Wonderful?

My god. I'm so perasan. Hahaha

Out of sudden today, I miss her again but deep in my heart I know that is impossible for her to SMS again. So yeah.

Just let it, Julian. I always told myself that.

That is for today. Have a nice day for tmr. 

Score high high for modern math n give Pn.ng a shock......

Sweet seventeen;) good or a bad day?

Few minutes more, it gonna be my birthday -sweet 17th birthday! This is the time where I'm still 16 before I'm transform to 17(older). I was very happy that my friends remember about my birthday and yesterday they gave me present. I appreciate it very much deep in my heart.
Here some the pictures that I took for the present as a memory. <3

As I'm counting down for my sweet seventeen birthday, I pray that tomorrow I'll receive a SMS or greeting from someone that I'm always care. I don't know why am I still holding on the hope that I know it wont happen. As I know deep in my heart I'm not the important one for her as I can see with my eyes, she don't even wanted to look at me, smile at me or even talk to me. But still, I don't want to give up spiritually. Maybe today is the time where I will know the answer. Izzit what I think iSight or wrong. No matter how cool a person is, if the day brings the special meaning for sure, he or she will wish others. So I shall wait and see. Let's make a pinky promise, if a bad thing really happen- I don't receive a single greeting or wishes from her..truly I'm nothing to her. And it's time for me to really forget about it and this is just a test that god gv me. Test is just a test, after it , ntg else has a meaningful meaning. I'm glad that I hv something that is so precious for me to let go.

Last but to least, HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN JULIAN ;) I'm big girl now. Nights.

Thinking of the world 3oct2012

Sometimes in life, we often think why the person you love the most will not trust you? Or the person that you have been with so long.. Now I understand how terrible was the feeling when you have done so many things for so many people and yet it seems no one was going to appreciate you. People BELIVE more what other people told them instead of believing what they see or hear the most from their own eyes or ears. Can't they feel how a person treat them and knowing that person even more detail with themselves or from the beginning they planned to take people as granted that they don't even have the intention to know that person and judging that person with to what other people said. What will you think and feel if this happen to you?

Talk is cheap

As everyone knows talk is cheap because it is just talk, no action in it.
And we Malaysian called it as "NATO" - no action talk only.
People tends to say "forgive and forget" but does these words really exist?
We know how to say but we never practice or remember what we said or even worse can't even do what we had said.
So never say anything just because you love those words but it doesn't meant anything that u had said.
Isn't words become meaningless if we don't join it become a sentence that is meaningful?
The world won't stop spinning just because of a person. Similarly, a person's life won't stop just because of the words that other people said. So what for we care how others said about us?
Is their mouth, their thoughts and whatever they do.. Is none of our business.
Thanks to those who willing to spend their time to say about you. Don't you think you have a special thing within you that makes people wanna gossip or even interested in you?
Thanks god for that too. ;) as god was the one who planned our days before we were born in this world.
Thanks god, I love you deeply and truly. I appreciate what you have done in my life.

It's Friday

Its Friday. I skip school today because I prefer to study at home. ;) 

Let me ask you, what you think about the world ? A reality world?

Would anyone really care about you?

Would anyone really think of you?

Would anyone really love you?

There are lots of questions I keep on asking in my mind but all I can do is to wait time to prove it to me.

So let's wait ;)

Reality is seem far more than I hv know so far

Reality? Yes, we are been living in a reality world. Beginning I was never believe how reality was the world even though I know everyone was studying and working because of money. I even been so naive that I wanna be a doctor in future so that I can go to the rural places or poor country to help out those who needs it. This is because once upon a time, a teacher told me "no one cares how clever or brilliant you are but people know how much you care." Indeed now, it never applied to me anymore.. This sentences is just a nice to hear n to say... In reality, it does not applied at all. Through this few days that god had planned it for me I believe that he has his purpose and though I lost the award as mgs ladies of class and merit marks but still I think it is worth because this experience I will never get it again. With the lost I hv gain that every one in this world looks status, if one day you don't hv anything and everything no one is gonna care about you and they are the first one is gonna avoid you. Does anyone really cares about the care that you care for them? I bet no one. So what for .. We being care so much about others? I have grown up... No matter how much you treat a person, but deep in their heart you still won't be the good as what they think of. If you have done some mistakes, no matter you took the punishment or not , people will still looking you as a prisoner whether you hv turn into a new leaf or not. No one cares about it. So why should I? I even cried why the person that seem so believe in me and so good towards me ..change... Asking me avoid to seeing her in real life. What is this life going on? Life is unfair , I know it. So let it be ;)

Struggle week...

Tomorrow gonna be sejarah paper and today will be a struggling day to go through the sejarah textbook. Nowadays I felt I and Him got ntg to chat or in other words, no topic. I can feel there is a distance between me and him now. Maybe it gonna be good for me n him as we can focus more on our books instead?  And how bout me and her? Still the same a huge distance. :) that it. Gonna back to sejarah...bai bai

love?

TRANSFORMATION.

New hair style.... 

I just cut my fringe and little bit at ponytail. I cut it because I feel so bored looking at the same appearance everyday. In addition, it always block my right side eye from seeing it properly. I hope it will bring me good luck for my exam next week. :) 

Goodnight. Going to sleep now though tomorrow I'm not going to school but I hope I can wake up earlier and study hard for my my exam! I don't want any regrets in future. As ms.tan(chemistry teacher) said, "you always busy for school stuff n helping this n that, but who gonna help you? You must learn to say NO." I strongly agree with her. ;) no doubt, she is right and I knew it. That it for today.